It’s the age-old question. You and your fiance are set as far as home goods but you could use some extra cash to go toward much needed home repair or to start your savings for when your family grows down the road. Is it ok to let your wedding guests know you’d rather have cash instead of a new blender?
First off, don’t underestimate how great registry items can be. You can get nice versions of the basics that you’ll need for years to come and this is the chance to get those products that will actually last. You will also get things that you need, but would never buy for yourself.
In a post on Jezebel titled “Newlyweds Don’t Want Your Stupid Presents” the author argues that couples shouldn’t feel ashamed about asking for cash if that’s what they really need most. In the past, wedding etiquette dictated that you should never ask for cash, but as times change so do social norms.
So how do you ask for cash? One option is to use alternative registries that help raise money towards a large purchase, such as your honeymoon or down payment on a home, but beware that some of these services may take a cut.
Another option is to keep your registry small (or not have one and all) and have friends and family members get the word around that you’d prefer cash. Some guests might feel uncomfortable giving cash if they don’t know what it’s going towards or if they don’t have much to give. Other guests may feel like a wedding gift (even one chosen from a registry) seems more personal than a few twenties in an envelope, so be prepared to receive gifts that you don’t expect if you go this route. To get what you really want, the best policy is honesty. If friends or family ask what you’d like for your wedding, let them know that you appreciate that they’ve considered giving you a gift, but that you’d be grateful for money since you’re planning on putting towards a down payment on your first house. See, it’s easy!
The most important rule? You’re never entitled to a gift, ever, and definitely not a specific amount or value. A gift is something someone voluntarily chooses to give, and presents should always be accepted gracefully. Invite guests to your wedding because you want them to share your wedding day with you and not because you expect something from them in return. If you invite friends and family who support you, they’ll want to give you what you really need whether you ask for it or not.
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